Amber Bean Coffee

Learn how to make a BAD POT of coffee, even without our beans. We Roast the Beans No One Else Wants - Shop Beans

About Us

Thank you for stumbling across Amber Bean Coffee. We understand that there are a lot of coffee options out there, and we are one of them. We’re probably not the best. We hope we’re not the worst (although that's more likely than being the best). We'll let you decide, only don't tell your friends if you pick us as the worst.

Amber Bean Coffee company was started in response to the many coffee companies that have sprung up around the country. Everywhere you go, there is a coffee shop trying to sell you a cup of coffee that was ground and brewed while you wait. Even fast food restaurants and donut chains got into the act. It became nearly impossible to find a cup of stale, bitter coffee.

Voted Mediocre Coffee by Coffee Talk

We are on a mission to bring down the expectations of coffee drinkers. Our semi-trained staff of coffee roasters work like they have somewhere else they’d rather be, just to bring you that unique Amber Bean Coffee flavor. (To be clear, unique means "unlike anything else". It does not imply "good".)

How do we stay in business if our coffee bucks the trend? It’s quite easy, really! Our customer service is just bad enough that most people don’t even notice our coffee. If you want to experience it for yourself, complete our “contact us” form. Chances are pretty good you’ll never hear from us.

Whether you’re looking for a coffee strong enough to shake you out of your doldrums, or you crave a cup that tastes like coffee that's been boiling over a hot campfire all day, Amber Bean Coffee is the right coffee source for you.

Our standards are just tight enough to ensure that our beans - and even the occasional pebble - are relatively clean, but loose enough to ensure an uninterrupted flow of caffeine to our addicted customers.

Best of all - and we know you're worried about this - our coffee contains absolutely No Civet Poo! Guaranteed!*

We get asked this all the time. Usually it goes something like, "This coffee tastes like poo!" We proudly respond, "No poo here. That's just our coffee!"

Buy something from us today! If you’re the adventurous type, try our coffee - otherwise our t-shirts, glasses, and coffee mugs are all pretty safe!

* LEGAL NOTICE FROM OUR LAWYERS: The "No Civet Poo! Guaranteed!" guarantee does not guarantee, state, or imply that Amber Bean Coffee contains no poo  from any animal other than the asian palm civet.

 

 

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Coffee Quotes

“C:\COFFEE.POT missing (A)bort (R)etry (F)all asleep?”

Quoted From Author Unknown